


Stone Cold Perfection

by lizziepro



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-23
Updated: 2012-09-23
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizziepro/pseuds/lizziepro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyuhyun is finishing his final project before he can graduate art school. He has to create an extremely detailed sculpture from marble. What he doesn't know is that his work will result in something special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where to Begin...

Oh, sunlight. What does it look like?  
Well, Cho Kyuhyun has no idea anymore. He's been in his school's art studio for the past week just sitting on a stool, sketching on his notebook, waiting for inspiration.  
An inspiration that seemed like it would never come.

Kyuhyun was a senior at his university, a studio arts major who was the best sculptor on campus, or so he thought. His ego was a bit too much sometimes, but hey, how else is someone going to create art if they aren't a little full of themselves? Though what everyone didn't know is that most of it was a show. A show to fit in, yet at the same time intimidate people. This is why he only had a few friends. A number which wouldn't even fill up one hand if you count on your fingers. Most of the time he liked it, but lately it was more of a burden than anything. One friend, Zhou Mi, was due back in China soon after graduation, and he had a prospective gallery space in the works. He was also going to work for a family, curating one of their collections to support his materials supply. It was more necessary than you'd think. Materials are hella expensive if you buy the right kind. Changmin was going to France to model for various photographers, and take in some French atmosphere. As for Minho, well, Minho really did love art. His portraits always turned out amazing, and he had consistenly been selling his work since sophomore year to a family in Seoul. Some said he had the skill of a young Caravaggio, but soccer was his passion. He was due for tryouts for the national team next week.

Kyuhyun felt stuck. He didn't have a future planned out like the rest of his friends. For all he knew, he was going to fucking die in this god forsaken studio because he wouldn't be able to finish his senior project and graduate because inspiration is a frigid bitch. Of course he was overjoyed for his friends and their successes, but damn. It was difficult when none of that was happening to him. 

His head hit the desk and a low groan escaped his lips.  
" _What the fuck am I doing?_ "

He tilted his head up and rested his chin on his hands, tapping his foot and staring at the mass in front of him. He was intimidated, to say the least.

This was not just  _any_  senior project.

He had to sculpt a figure out of a solid block of marble.

A figure that was idealized, with the utmost detail and definition in every groove and curve in the marble.

This was not what he had wanted.

Of course, he never said he didn't want it when the professor suggested he try it.

" _It's because I think you can do it, Kyuhyun. You've improved so much since your freshman year, and I think this could be your university masterpiece,"_ the professor said with an encouraging hand on Kyuhyun's back.

He should've said no while he had the chance and just suggested he work on a plastercast of his kitten or something.  
That would be more logical than this bullshit he was now facing. Alas though, he nodded his head and agreed to the project.

It was 2am, so there was really no sunlight at the moment to speak of for him to be missing, but the sentiment remained the same. He shuffled over to his laptop, head hung low and hands in his pockets. He opened it up, looking longingly at the Starcraft icon on his desktop. He hadn't played in a week. He was sure his team would be mad at him, but he couldn't really give a fuck at that point. Scrolling away from the icon, he opted for some music. Maybe that would help him think a little. Yeah, maybe gain some inspiration. He turned on his friend Jonghyun's band CNBLUE, hoping maybe the aggressive rock guitar chords would get his adrenaline pumping and produce an idea.

He walked around the studio, chisel in hand, mallet in the other.

_"In my head I know you_

_At the end of this dark cliff, I wait for the light - beyond light_

_Inside my tangled heart, the light crumbles and flies_

_I hope now the light will shine on me in this chaos_

_I hope now, that it will drench me in this drought_

  
_I hope now, burn up my frozen heart so it’ll become hot now"_

Kyuhyun sang along with the song. It seemed to eerily fit his sentiment, actually. Unfortunately, this only made him more frustrated.  
Pacing.....Pacing....Pacing back and forth.

Should he sculpt a human figure? A T-280 Construction vehicle from Starcraft? A bowl of fucking fruit?!

_"FUCK!"_

He stopped in his tracks, and screaming, turned on his heels and whipped the mallet in his hand at the block of marble. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he missed the block and hit the wall behind it, leaving a gaping hole he'd have to explain to the maintenance crew which did rounds at 3am. 

_"Well, that didn't go as well as I had planned."_

He sighed and walked over to pick up the mallet and return to his table, only this time he was slightly less frustrated due to his act of rage. Catharsis through violence. Not his typical outlet, but there seemed to be no other option at that point, and he felt horrible about it. This wasn't him. He wasn't that person who did things like that. He was usually very rational and thought his actions through before he committed to them. But this was not a normal circumstance. 

Nothing was coming to him. Not a damn thing, and it was getting to be a huge problem in comparison to what it was before. He had to have something started for class in 2 days and it was not looking good.

2:30am: It's a little darker and a little colder in the studio, but Kyuhyun is still thinking, sitting at his table and sketching in his notebook, yet again. He decides that the music isn't helping as much as he'd thought. He walks back to his laptop across the room and scrolls through the tracks once more, becoming disheartened as nothing catches his eye. He votes for shuffle at this point, since his thought processes are essentially diminished after hours of work and stress with no results. If you asked him to spell his name, it's doubtful he could've even done that. 

_"10 more minutes, Kyu. Then you're going to bed. This isn't worth it,"_ he thought to himself.

He hit play and breathed a heavy sigh into his palms. His face was warm, he could feel it. He needed some fresh air, but that would come in due time when he walked back to his apartment. 

The first song to grace his tired ears was Brahms' "Symphony No. 3 Poco Allegretto".  
Classical music.

_Interesting._

Kyuhyun slowly looked up from his palms, eyeing the marble with his head tilted to one side and one eye slightly squinted. He thought he looked like that crazy kid Chanyeol who was in the freshman Studio Art 101 class he taught. There was definitely something wrong with that kid, but his paintings were genius, like a Pollock or a Kandinsky. He had a future. Too bad Kyuhyun didn't.

The longer he stared at the marble, the longer he thought of how it was made. The mix of limestone and heat from the earth, creating his essential tool. The amount of time it took for this to form. How marble had been used by so many great sculptors before him. How the Greek sculptors of the past had worked dilligently on their high relief pieces, day and night, with so much passion and drive to create an ideal image of the human form.

And then it hit him.

He needed to look into the past for inspiration. The Hellenistic statues, in particular, as they were extremely idealized works. These artists sought to free the form from the constricting block in which it had been trapped. The figure had to emerge from inside the block, presenting itself to a world which would admire it for centuries to come for the technique and precision with which it was crafted, and the beauty which it contained in its ideality.

He sat bolt upright on his stool, mouth agape, eyes wide, hands shaking.

His mind had finally presented him with an idea for the sculpture.

**_INSPIRATION_. HOW GRAND.**

He would create an idealized male figure from the marble block, just like those from ancient Greece and Rome.

The best part was, the man he would draw was already a consistent figure in his mind. One which did not exist in reality as a human, but his own ideal man, if you will.

With a resounding  _"FUCKING FINALLY. YES."_  and a fist pump in the air above his head, he began sketching out the man from his dream onto material paper.

His dream would literally come to life.

 

 

 


	2. Ruined

"You look like a fucking crack addict, Kyuhyunnie."

"Thanks, Changmin. At least my ears don't pick up satellite signal from Somalian pirate ships in the Atlantic Ocean."

"Hey, fuck you. Everyone loves my ears. You're just jealous because they get me all the ladies."

"Is that what you think?"

"Yes."

"You're a fucking idiot, Changmin."

It was a typical morning in the apartment Kyuhyun shared with Changmin. The sun was blazing through the curtains now, warming the room which had grown chilly due to the spring air passing through the screens of the windows and into the kitchen.  
The messy, messy kitchen.

Kyuhyun was returning from spending the past night in the basement art studio working on his scuplture. After furiously sketching out his figure one night ago, he made his first cuts into the large stone mass last night. 

1:22 am to be exact. 

He noted it in his journal.

His eyes were heavy. He could barely keep them open and the sunlight wasn't helping him any. He wished he had remained ignorant to the brightness, but it was unavoidable now. His arms hung low by his sides and his hands were sore from chiseling away through the night. He opened and closed them a few times before rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"I'm off to class. I'm supposed to be a nude model today," Changmin said, sauntering over to put on his shoes.

"Who the fuck made that decision," Kyuhyun replied taking off his long sleeve shirt, leaving him in an old Mathletes t-shirt from high school. He really needed to sleep. He didn't have time for Changmin's bullshit right now, but he knew if he didn't humor him, then he'd never be able to crawl into that oh so cozy bed that was calling his name in the next room.  
He swore he could just hear it.

"Professor Grippi. I think she likes me, but who doesn't?" Changmin wiggled his eyebrows. Only Kyuhyun knew he was full of it and that most of it was a facade. While Kyuhyun had a cold exterior, his best friend had a much colder one that oozed confidence from every crevice. But Kyuhyun simply knew that hidden underneath was a shy, uncertain troll of a friend who merely acted confident out of hopes that one day it might come true. Sad, but everyone has their secrets.

But Kyuhyun wasn't in the mood for it anymore.

"Shut up. I'm going to bed."   
He got up from his chair and made his way into the next room, shutting the door behind him, only vaguely hearing Changmin chirp behind him,

"Don't sleep too late. You've got to present your work so far to Rob today at 2."  
He could practically hear the snide remarks that were about to exit the mouth of the last person he wanted to talk to right now.

"I'll be fine," Kyuhyun said into the pillow, which his face was now buried in. He turned over and looked back up at the doorway, hands behind his head, waiting for the next inevitable question of concern. Changmin's confidence was fading. He was showing concern. Therefore, Kyuhyun knew there was about to be a mini interrogation, so he might as well get it over with.

"How much have you actually done, Kyuhyun," Changmin said leaning against the doorway, looking down at his exhausted friend, so desperate for the solace of his dreams.

"Enough," was all that Kyuhyun replied. He'd hoped it would be enough, but it wasn't.

"How much is enough?"  
More concern this time. Now it was getting dangerous.

"Well, I've started rounding out the head."   
He admitted this while looking up at the ceiling, avoiding the judgmental gaze of the man in the doorway.

"So, basically nothing?"   
Changmin's reply stung.

"NO!",   
Kyuhyun shot up and stared at him. Changmin's look was that of a concerned mother, worried about her struggling student. Of course, Kyuhyun did in fact appreciate this side of Changmin the most, but he could never tell him that or let him know, because then he would never stop getting shit for it. I mean, unless they were drunk, then neither of them would probably remember what they'd said, so who's to say it hadn't been said before. Their relationship ran deep, and they were extremely reliant on each other, but bro status overrules everything in this apartment, so nothing was brought up, unless it had to be.

This was one of those times.

"Look, Changminnie. I appreciate your concern. I really do. But I'm fine. The project is going to be fine. I have a whole 2 months. I just needed to have something started today and I do. It's okay," Kyuhyun replied with a sigh. This somehow seemed to relieve Changmin and his persona had returned.

"Well then, that's good. Just make sure you go to class. I'll text you. I've got to go get naked for some sophomores. I'll see you tomorrow," and with that he left the apartment.

No sooner did Kyuhyun hear the door shut, he fell back onto the pillow again and immediately sunk into a deep sleep.

What did he dream about?

His model, of course.

He needed to give him a name though.

Yes. Him.

There were names scrolling through his mind in his dream as he struggled to decide, but when the wheels of the machine had stopped, they stopped on the perfect name.

"Choi Siwon".

He pondered it for a moment... he knew it was perfect, even in his dream state. 

He looked to his right, still dreaming, at the sound of a thud. He jolted in his spot only to see a smiling figure standing next to him.

The figure had soft dark brown hair, tanned skin, a perfect ideal body, similar height to Kyuhyun, endearing eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a nose that Narcissus would envy.

But most importantly, the figure smiled a warm smile directly at Kyuhyun.

"Hello, Kyuhyunnie. It's nice to finally have a name. Hopefully I can meet you soon. Remember, I love you."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been 2 weeks since that dream. Two weeks since Kyuhyun had felt at total peace, if only for that instant in his dream. He missed the feeling terribly. So terribly it physically pained him. Nothing he did even came close to regaining that blissful feeling, the feeling he knew only for that brief moment in time when "Choi Siwon" had told him he loved him.

But who the fuck was he kidding?

It was a dream. Right?  
It couldn't happen again. It wasn't going to happen again, no matter how hard he wished and hoped it would.  
It was a fleeting dream, though it was the happiest he'd felt in months.

Even so, it motivated him to work. The two weeks since then had been spent working arduously in the art studio. 

His hands were sore. He could barely stand up straight after being hunched over for so long, chipping away little by little so as to not ruin any centimeter of the marble. One slip, and it could be ruined. Everything would be ruined. CHOI SIWON WOULD BE RUINED.

This is why the door remained locked.  
This is why he didn't let Minho come into the studio, for fear of him jumping on his back and hugging him, as Minho had this weird habit of doing. That guy was touchy and Kyuhyun wasn't too sure how he felt about it. I mean, he liked it, but..........Kyuhyun's not like that.  
Right?

Besides the point, Kyuhyun was working at a steady pace. Keeping going if only in hopes of somehow being able to relive that moment in his dream. 

His teacher says he's well on his way to being the star of the senior art exhibit this year, and though this should make him happy, it doesn't. He's not even making this for his class anymore. He's truthfully sculpting this for himself. 

Some would call it catharsis.

Kyuhyun couldn't help but realize just how lonely he was during this whole process, and after a month of work, the loneliness had finally taken its toll.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

It was April 3rd, 3:20am.

Anyone would be asleep at this point, but Kyuhyun isn't just anyone.

He had sculpted the shape of the figure in its most basic form, with little to no detail etched into the stone concerning muscle or definition of face and features. The form was definitely there, but not to its fullest extent yet. 

That was going to be the hardest part of all.

Sculpting the basic human form was something Kyuhyun could do in his sleep, but an idealized male form is often revered as one of the great feats in art, and if you get it wrong, then you quit and go to work in a McDonalds because no one will forgive you for that.

Kyuhyun picked up a smaller chisel and mallet, as he was working on the definition in the thighs and knees. He chiseled in the beginnings of a line down the side of the left thigh, marking every so often with a pencil to note where he would place a symmetrical mark with his chisel on the other leg. It was going completely smoothly. Everything was working well. He had his music in, of course it was CNBLUE, and he was determined to have the legs done in full by Friday, two days from now.

Unfortunately for Kyuhyun, he had the body of a grandpa and his back began to ache more quickly tonight. Though, as he soon realized, time had passed quite fast tonight and it was now 4:13am. 

He opted for his smallest chisel and lightest mallet and decided to start some work on the face.

To be totally honest, he was scared out of his mind to start on the face. He began to sweat, wiping his face with his tshirt. He blinked a few times, looking around with tired eyes.

"Maybe this would be better to start tomorrow afternoon?" he thought, standing there in his place in front of the statue.

Fuck that. He was going to get started on this if it was the last thing he did, no matter if he was tired or not.

Plus, he was really intrigued by how the face would turn out in comparison to the absolute vision of perfection he conversed with in his dream.

He pulled up a stool, turned up his music, and as he screamed along to his friends lyrics, he began to chisel lightly at the head of the figure, starting with the left eye. 

What Kyuhyun didn't realize is that he was exhausted, and he needed to sleep. He had avoided this necessity for much longer tonight than he had previously, going home at 8am yesterday and then returning at noon.

THE MAN HADN'T SEEN DAYLIGHT IN OVER 12 HOURS.

This could be what caused the next series of events.

Continuing to scream the lyrics through his tired voice, his eyes began to cross. His vision went blurry. His hands were clammy. He was going to passout. 

Unfortunately for Kyuhyun though, this came while he was on the stool. His legs gave out from beneath him as the song reached the final chorus and down he fell from the stool, knicking a small cut into the nose of the figure. 

He had cut "Choi Siwon"'s nose... right on the bridge. It revealed a slightly darker spot.

It was ruined.

Kyuhyun was on the ground, sweaty, trying to slow his breathing.

"in, and out. 1,...2,...3.... you're not going to passout. you're not going to fucking passout. you just need some water. don't passout."

He didn't know what he had done yet.

And he wouldn't know until he looked up, finally at his sculpture.

Initially it was a look up for some sign of help. Relief. Revelation. Inspiration. Anything really.

And then he saw it. 

He bolted up, not his best decision by far, on his shaky legs and gawked about 2cm away from the surface of the stone.

He jumped back, covering his mouth with his hands. His eyes burned, badly. The tears stinging his face weren't stopping. They just kept coming.

Everything was over.

He fell back onto the floor, sitting with his knees curled up to his chest, and sobbed. Chest heaving, eyes burning red, spit everywhere. He couldn't control his emotions. 

He had been working so hard to create something perfect, something that he wanted so desperately to be real. He didn't just want this statue to be finished. 

He needed it to be finished, and finished perfectly at that.

He needed a friend. Something he could wholly rely on and trust and admire. It was his own, and no one else's.

And it was ruined.

All because he was a fucking idiot who couldn't keep his balance.

He couldn't take it anymore.

The music continued to blare, and he continued to sob, but somehow strength returned to his legs and he got up.

Reaching over the large table, he grabbed his bucket of chisels and launched it at the window, shattering it into thousands of pieces. 

Screaming. 

Loudly. 

His largest mallet would be the weapon of choice as he angrily smashed the left overs from his initial cuts into the stone, the biggest pieces there were, next to the figure itself.

Why couldn't he stop crying though?

"FUCK. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I TRY SO FUCKING HARD ALL THE TIME. I WORK AND WORK AND FUCKING WORK AND NOTHING EVER TURNS OUT WELL. EVERYTHING WORKS FOR EVERYONE ELSE. AND WHY? WHY COULDN'T THIS ONE THING JUST FUCKING WORK FOR ME? I DON'T GET IT! FUCK. I FUCKING HATE. EVERYTHING. THIS SCHOOL."

he took a swing at the table, chipping off a piece of the edge.

"MY FRIENDS~"

another swing, another stool broken.

"MY LIFE."

he turned on his heels and raised his mallet to the figure.

he was enraged, unable to even form coherent thoughts through blindness from tears and sobbing. His shirt had become soaked with blood from his hands being cut from shards of glass and other material, and his sweat from the entire day of work. His hair was everywhere, off his forehead and sticking up wildly. His eyes were huge, hungry for violence, and only violence could satisfy the animal raging inside of him.

An animal set off by a mistake.

A mistake that would prolong his loneliness.

"and you..... I fucking hate you so much. I work endlessly on you. I want you to be perfect like you are in my mind. Why is that so difficult? If you were real, everything would be so much better. I can't even begin to explain. I just want something good in my life and you were it........... 

but i fucked you up. I took a notch out of your nose. And now you have this...........this thing. And I can't take it."

He raised the mallet high over his head, and still sobbing, looking at the figure, he started to release his arms forward......

 

only to be caught by another pair of arms and pulled away forcefully from the figure.

He looked up and saw someone he hadn't seen in ages.

"Eunhyuk?"

"At your service. Come here Kyuhyun," the man said while bringing Kyuhyun into a hug. 

Kyuhyun dropped the mallet onto the floor next to him, barely missing his bare foot, and grabbed Eunhyuk tightly around the waist. 

He cried and cried and Eunhyuk just hugged him until he felt okay to let go.

How Eunhyuk knew Kyuhyun was there was beyond him. They had always fought, but secretly they weren't enemies at all. Of course, they gave each other shit, but that's how friends are. Eunhyuk would hangout with Kyuhyun all the time freshman year when they both had studio 101 class and sketched their lives away into countless notebooks. Kyuhyun designed the figures, Eunhyuk designed the clothing. For Eunhyuk though, he was discovered last year and was rushed off to the States with a job offer in New York City. The best part about this though was that Eunhyuk actually had horrible fashion sense himself, but could dress other people impeccably. Funny how things work, isn't it?  
Anyway, Eunhyuk gladly took the offer and he and Kyuhyun grew distant. It happens, and it sucks, but life goes on. Eunhyuk never came back though. He ended up making friends with a lot of people in the States and now resides in an apartment with his best friend Shannon. With Eunhyuk so happy in the U.S., Kyuhyun wondered why he came back, but that wasn't the main issue right now.

The two men sat on the ground in the rubble from Kyuhyun's outburst. The music had stopped. The clock read 8:18am.  
Kyuhyun leaned on Eunhyuk's leopard print jacket clad shoulder and finally felt somewhat at peace.

"You know, it's not really that bad at all. It gives him character. It really just looks like a freckle. And freckles are cute, Kyuhyun."

Kyhyun smiled the tiniest smile. Eunhyuk was right. That nose was stone cold perfection, and the freckle enhanced that.

He sighed and decided at that moment that everything would eventually be alright.

He would eventually find peace and the sculpture would eventually be done.

Eventually.

And even though Kyuhyun had little patience for anything, he decided that this could wait a little longer to be worked on again.

At least until after he had a full meal and a good night's rest of 6 hours...  
\----------------------------

"I'm sorry you're tired, Kyuhyunnie, but just work a little longer. Your hands need a rest. I can wait. I'll see you soon enough. Remember, I love you..."

 

Another peaceful sleep. One night closer to his own happiness...


	3. Loneliness

Tea.

Such a glorious thing. 

Eunhyuk handed Kyuhyun a cup and smiled a tiny little smile as they sat in Kyuhyun's kitchen. 

10:25am.

"What's a famous fashion designer like you doing back in Korea?" Kyuhyun asked taking a sip of his tea.

Eunhyuk still remembered how Kyuhyun liked his tea since he put in a passionfruit teabag.

Eunhyuk was used to the snark, and after a couple years away, it was nice to see it hadn't left.

"I'm back because I got a phonecall from Minho."

The words stung. Kyuhyun had been avoiding Minho. He locked him out of his studio even though Minho had only come by a few times out of earnest concern for one of his best friends. Kyuhyun felt horrible.

"When?"  
He took another sip of tea, not looking up at Eunhyuk. He knew he'd only meet a gaze that told him he was being an insensitive asshole...

"Last week. He said you locked yourself in the studio and wouldn't let anyone in. He said you wouldn't return his texts or calls or even come to help out with your studio art 101 class anymore. He doesn't deserve that Kyuhyun."

"Yeah? And who are you to tell me how to go about my business? You know I don't work well with other people around."

"So you didn't work well freshman year when we would sketch at all hours of the night and make fail!ramen because we can't cook?"

Another hit to his pride. Why couldn't he just be honest?

Kyuhyun set his tea down and looked up at Eunhyuk, finally. Eunhyuk looked worried. Kyuhyun didn't mean for that to happen. All he did was worry people anymore. He wanted to take care of himself but everyone was so concerned all the time. He didn't need their help. He didn't need their moral support. He was fine on his own............

He figured if he kept repeating this to himself, it might come true.

Too bad it didn't.

He needed his friends.

But...

"It's not that, Eunhyuk. You know it. I just.........I don't know what it is."

He looked away from his friend. He couldn't take it, the concern, the worry. He didn't mean to make him worry. He didn't want Minho to be hurt because he locked him out.

He just wanted....................he wanted someone to love. It wasn't something any of his friends could help him with, actually. It wasn't anything that could be solved by his rampage in the studio this morning. It was up to him. It was his fault, he felt. Kyuhyun just couldn't shake the feeling that he'd never find anyone to love him, and that was why this sculpture was so important. It didn't help that his dreams kept pushing him to work, and what kind of fucked up mindset did he have that finishing this sculpture and making it perfect would provide him with someone to love?

Maybe it was the idea that someone would be inspired by his artwork and stroll up at the gala opening for the senior show and fall for him because of his creation. Its perfection. Its impeccable detail. Its exquisite style. Everything about it.

That was it.

Right?

He didn't really expect....

"Sorry, Kyuhyunnie. I've got to call Shannon. Something about an emergency with the clothing transport for the pieces to get to fashion week in Paris. I'll be right back." Eunhyuk said, getting up from his chair, dialing a number feverishly. He walked away and Kyuhyun took another sip of tea.

No. He was being crazy.  
There was no way in hell that could ever happen.

Even less of a chance would there be of him admitting that it was what he wanted.

He downed the last of his tea and shuffled over to the sink, placing the cup in the warm water.

It stung.

He looked down at his hand and saw more cuts revealed from a few hours ago. Which reminded him....

Eunhyuk walked back into the kitchen and sat down at the table behind Kyuhyun.

"Eunhyukkie... how did you manage to get into the studio? I locked the door..."  
He asked without turning around.

Eunhyuk scoffed. 

"I used the spare key under the potted plant next to the door. You didn't expect me to forget it was there, did you?"

Shit.

Kyuhyun had completely forgotten about that key.

But somehow he was thankful for it now.

"Thanks, Eunhyuk."

"Anytime. Now, go to sleep."

Kyuhyun turned around and smirked at the man before going into his bedroom.

He took off his stained tshirt and opted for a hoodie and a pair of gym shorts before crawling beneath the covers.

His brain shut off in record time that morning, well, around 11:30am anyway.

\-------------------------------------------------------------  
No dreams of Choi Siwon that morning. Nor for the next couple of weeks.

It was driving Kyuhyun crazy to say the least.

Every morning he woke up frustrated at the lack of another Choi Siwon dream...

He had "2" weeks to complete his sculpture and he had made his way up to the chest and arms finally after a month of working on the lower half, which admittedly was too much time since now the most intricate work had to be done and he had to relive the horror of his fall/his scratching the nose.

It was April 18th. The project was due on May 13th. Theoretically he still had 3 weeks, but if he thought it was two, then he would work harder.

Eunhyuk had left back to the States. Zhou Mi was readying himself for his return to China. Changmin was booking plane tickets for Paris. And Minho, well, he passed his tryout and was now part of the national team.

He was the one sitting in the studio as Kyuhyun worked diligently on the shoulder muscles of his figure. slowly but surely, chiseling away. Bits and pieces of marble dusted the floor, and Minho sat on the table next to Kyuhyun, swinging his feet back and forth, texting someone on his phone. Who it might've been, Kyuhyun was unsure of. It could be anyone from a coach to a trainer to that cute freshman girl from his "Color and Tone in 19th Century Portraiture" class. 

All Kyuhyun cared about was how amazing the shoulders and back of his figure were turning out to be. 

The pose of the figure was an upright pose. The legs were slightly spread, about shoulder width apart, and the torso turned slightly to the right, so the chest faced more right than center. The right arm was slightly behind the waist of the figure and the right should vaguely leant down. The face would look straight on toward the audience and have a subtle confidence about it.

In the face though, which would make or break the figure, is the expression he keeps debating in his head. 

In his dreams, Choi Siwon never stops smiling. It's a pleasant, warm smile, that means so much more than it shows, but how much is Kyuhyun really willing to risk on the success of his figure just for a smile in his dreams?

He was brought back to reality as he heard Minho finish a sentence. About what, he had no idea.

"What did you say?" Kyuhyun asked without looking up. He continued to tap into one of the various lines of definition on the back and shoulders. 

"I said who are you sculpting, Kyuhyunnie? It doesn't look like anyone we know." Minho replied cocking his head to the side a little.

"It's because it's not." 

"Is he made up then?"

"Obviously."

"Did you make him up?"

"OBVIOUSLY."

"Why?" Minho asked earnestly. Kyuhyun could hear it in his voice.

How the fuck was Kyuhyun supposed to answer that without sounding like a pathetic little pussyshit?  
REALLY.  
"Oh because I'm lonely and I want to find someone like him~" or "Because sometimes Minho things just get tough and I want someone to love me because I can't take not having anyone anymore~" or even "Because he's perfect and in my dreams he's real and if I sculpt him then he can be real enough for me to maybe love, even though I know it's fucked up and my life is a joke~ but you understand, right Minho?~"

Great fucking question, Minho. Way to go.

Kyuhyun sighed, looking up at Minho and lowering his tools.

"Because I couldn't sculpt Changmin without him being a dick about it, and I figured an idealized male figure was a surefire way to win the senior gala. Plus, I can do this in my sleep. Make sense now?"

Minho wasn't satisfied.

"You're lying to me." Minho said with a smirk. He jumped off the table and proceeded to stalk around the figure. He eyed it closely, moving his hands along the smooth marble, both wiping the excess dust off of it and testing its smoothness. 

The silence worried Kyuhyun.

He knew a smartass comment was inevitable. It was only a matter of time.

"You dream about this guy, don't you?" Minho said as he rounded back to his place on the table and looked at Kyuhyun with a smirk.

Kyuhyun could just hear the satisfaction ooze out in his voice.

It was disgusting how well Minho knew him. Changmin and Zhou Mi would say the same though if either of them ever saw the sculpture though, to be fair.

Which was why he hadn't let them in yet.

"Minho-" 

"It's fine. You don't have to tell me. He's really goodlooking, Kyuhyun. I can't blame you. He's perfect. I bet he has a name too~"

Kyuhyun glared at Minho. He was going too far now. He was mocking his art, and if there was any mutual agreement in this group of friends, it was that mocking any of the friends' art was unallowed. Everyone's work was special. Constructive criticism was fine, welcome actually, but this wasn't working.

"Stop Minho. You can leave if this is what you came to do." He said gruffly before bending back toward the shoulder of his figure.

"I didn't mean anything, Kyuhyunnie. I was just curious. You're going to win. You know you will. So I was just wondering why the extra effort? Plus, if you didn't win, we couldn't be friends anymore. I don't associate with losers."

"Nor do I. Shouldn't you be practicing for the exhibition game on Monday? You don't want to make a fool of yourself in front of the entire country, let alone that girl from your portraiture class." Kyuhyun said with a hint of venom in his voice.

No one fucks with Cho Kyuhyun and comes away unscathed.

Not even his best friends.

"We all know I'm going to be starting and that in about 6 months I'll be captain. Just watch. If I'm not, I'll buy you dinner." Minho said, picking up his backpack.

"Is that a promise?" Kyuhyun said with a smirk.

Sometimes he felt bad for giving Minho so much shit, but he gave it right back so it really didn't matter anymore.

"Only if you buy me a dog when I win the bet." Minho replied putting an arm around a now standing Kyu.

Kyuhyun smiled and put an arm on Minho's waist.

"You bet. Australian Shepherd, right?" He looked up at him. The younger was a couple centimeters taller than he was, not that Kyu minded or anything...

"Named Arnie."

"Why the fuck would you name a dog that?"

"Because I can."

"Right."

"Shut up. It's cute!"

"If you're an 80 year old blind woman living in Finland. Yes. Then it's cute."

Minho punched his arm before hugging him.

"I'll see you soon, right Kyuhyunnie?" Minho said as he walked toward the doorway, speaking over his shoulder.

"Just call me." Kyuhyun shouted up to him.

"Will do. Enjoy your dream man~" Minho replied, turning the corner out of the doorway just in time to miss being hit with a small mallet Kyuhyun launched at him.

It took another chip out of the wall.

Hopefully this statue would appraise well because with the damage he's done to this place, he'd need all the profit from the art show donations to his future work to pay for the damages to the studio.

He sat down on the floor, crossed his legs, and looked up at his work. 

He'd been working endlessly on the figure. Day and night. For 1.5 months now. It usually takes much longer for statues like this to be done, but Kyuhyun was determined. More determined than most.

Another day or so and he would be finished with the chest and arms, detailing them to his best ability.

Then he would be able to work on the face and head, adding some detail to the hair.

Again though, what to do with his expression?

"If he smiles, then it loses its mystique..........but Choi Siwon never stops smiling. How can I make him perfect without the smile? It'll drag down the value for donators......but still. It's my statue. He's my.........."

He paused.

"He's my man. I can make him however I want."

Another pause.

"Ewwwww. What the fuck are you turning into, Kyuhyun? When did you start saying mushy shit like that? Stop it. It's just a sculpture. It's just a sculpture. Nothing more. Just. a. sculpture."

He shook his head and ruffled his hair a bit, watching as pieces of marble fell to the floor. 

He examined his hands again, opening and closing them slowly. 

His long fingers had numerous cuts and gashes, all clogged with marble dust and old pieces of bandaid. 

As he finally looked at the damage done to his hands, he started to feel it in other places.

His shoulders were tense. He tried to lift them up and pop them back into place, but the tension was too much. 

His back also ached. He tried to pop it as well, turning at the torso and holding onto a table leg, but only a couple of places cracked.

Everything hurt.

He looked up again at the statue and the blank face that looked forward in such a way that was already more distinguished than he could have anticipated.

The pose itself added so much to the sculpture and the white marble made it impeccable. 

It really was going to be perfect.

Choi Siwon would be perfect.

Even with his freckle.

Kyuhyun smiled to himself and stood up.

He grabbed his notebook and made a small scribble in the center of a new page.

April 18th: Remember, I love you.

He picked up his fine point chisel, a small mallet, turned on some Brahms, and went back to work.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 weeks later, he was finished.

Choi Siwon was finished.


	4. Remember, I Love You

May 22. Senior Gala Night.

The night had arrived.

Kyuhyun was standing next to Zhou Mi, watching people mix and mingle, gushing over the art in the gala space that the seniors had worked so hard on.

Many had come up to Kyuhyun and complimented him on his sculpture, and he can't say he was totally surprised.

Again, Kyuhyun knew he was good.

This was just a nice reminder.

A really...really nice reminder.

Exactly what he needed, to be honest.

"You happy with how this turned out, Guixien," Zhou Mi asked with a swig of his drink. He set the empty glass on a passing waiter's tray and wrapped an arm around Kyuhyun's shoulder. 

Kyuhyun smiled and shook his head.

"Yeah. I think I am. It turned out better than I imagined. And everyone seems to like it enough to donate. So now I won't be paying back the art department for the next 20 years for all the studio damages."

"They should really come to expect things like that when they let in young, brooding artists with mallets and chisels. I mean really. Did they expect you to not go insane at some point?"

Kyuhyun laughed.

He'd almost forgotten what it was like to laugh.

He remembered though when he finished his sculpture.

It was the happiest he'd been in months.

He made his last cut into the smile of the figure and put his hands at his sides.

He took in the moment for all it was worth. Every hour, minute, second spent chiseling, chipping the marble, it had all resulted in this moment.

Finally.

Choi Siwon was his ideal man, and he had made him come to life through his own hands and their work.

There were really no words for how he felt in that moment.

None.

The jolt of a pat on the back brought him back to the Gala.

They had announced that he won the competition and Zhou Mi was patting his back for him to go up and accept his award.

An award that came in the form of a small plaque and a check for $5,000.

He smiled, hugged Zhou Mi, and walked up to the stage. 

The dean of the Arts College handed him his awards and left him to make a small speech.

Kyuhyun took a deep breath.

This was his moment.

"When I first started this project, I was struggling to find some form of inspiration. I tried and tried for weeks. Nothing seemed to click. One night though, I turned my music on shuffle, and lo and behold a classical piece came up. Now, I know. Classical music. Not really the most inspirational, but it wasn't the piece that inspired me, to be honest. It was what the piece meant. What went into the piece. The era. The idea of looking back, and forward. 

I went with a sculpture much in the form of an homage to the Hellenistic sculptors who I admire. I had no other choice really. I started sketching and sketching, and I had planned out the perfect sculpture. Unfortunately, the process didn't go smoothly either. Many a chair and window were broken, and I spent a lot of time by myself, but because of this statue now, I never have to be alone again. Not because the statue will be there with me, but because I've made so many connections here at school and with the art circles in the city.

Art connects people.

It's a beautiful thing. 

And for as lonely as many artists are when they work, they are that much more connected when they take a step back and look at those around them who are there to support them and love them, no matter what. Even if they throw a mallet at them.

Loneliness is not a permanent thing.

It never is.

No man is an island. And this is never more evident than in the art world and my own experiences. This is why Choi Siwon's face contains a warm smile. It's a reminder that whoever looks at the sculpture is loved, by someone out there. Even if they don't know the person yet. 

You are never alone. 

Someone will always be there to remind you they love you and smile for you. 

 

 

...........Don't ever forget to smile. and remember, someone loves you."

Kyuhyun wiped away the small tears welling up in his eyes and said thank you to the crowd once again before smiling for some cameras. At this point, Jonghyun, Minho, Changmin, and Zhou Mi all jumped up on the stage and posed with Kyuhyun, all in a row.

It was like a Kyu-line of friends, so to speak.

"Now we can stay friends since you won," Minho jabbed, smiling creepily at Kyuhyun.

"You never quit, do you," Kyuhyun replied through a smile, still facing the cameras.

"I love you too, Kyuhyunnie."  
Minho pulled him in tighter and they all continued to smile for the cameras in front of them.

Every single person in the room was smiling after that speech, even if they didn't know why.

It was a marvelous sight.

Kyuhyun stepped down from the stage and returned to his sculpture, looking up at Choi Siwon's face and smiling to himself.

It just had that effect on people. It was impossible to frown after seeing the sculpture. Absolutely impossible. 

Choi Siwon just bred happiness, comfort, and serenity.

It was amazing what art could do.

By the end of the night, around 2am, Kyuhyun had received a couple of commission offers from various buyers looking to take advantage of him while his spirit was still young and vivacious, not yet tired of sculpting, still hungry for perfection.

He was more than honored to have the commissions. Truly. He was a little surprised at the amount of interest taken in his work, but he accepted it heartily. 

He fucking deserved it.

Completely.

Around 2:30am he ended up back in the studio, where his sculpture would be housed until two days from now when it would be moved to his apartment.

Siwon sat 3 feet away or so from him.

Well, stood 3 feet away from him, on his base.

The base which had inscribed in it Kyuhyun's name, "Choi Siwon", and the date Kyuhyun finished the sculpture.

Typical.

Kyuhyun sat at the table he first sat at, attempting to find inspiration for his project. 

He remembered back to all the tears, all the rage, all the loneliness he felt.

The utter totality of loneliness consumed him in the worst of ways, and even remembering it pained him.

He hadn't lied during his speech.

Art does wonderful things in how it connects people.

Whether it be through movies, paintings, sculptures, literature, architecture, music...

Art brings people together.

Sometimes for a moment, and other times for life.

He looked up again at Siwon.

Another smile resulted, along with the warm feeling of content to match the spring weather finally coming into season.

It wasn't a suicide note, if that's what anyone was thinking, but Kyuhyun needed to write it all out.

Every single feeling he had felt to that point during this experience, the majority of which were negative.

His notes in his journal tended to be on the negative side, but this was better than keeping them inside his mind.

He flipped through the "I'd be better off dead"s and "I wish I could just disappear"s, even the "no one would miss me if i just died"s.

He knew these weren't really him but that little voice in the back of his head that popped up a little too often when he felt like nothing was working.

That was how he dealt with it.

He watched the pages flip and flip and noticed that tears started to fall onto his pages.

His own tears.

He continued til he found one of his most recent pages.

It was dated May 15th.

It read...

"Happy Birthday, Choi Siwon. You're complete now. If only you were real, then everything would be perfect, but this is close enough for now. I appreciate you and everything you've given me in this process. Remember, I love you. <3 Cho Kyuhyun"

As stupid and fucking cheesy as it was, he thought it was the cutest thing he'd ever done in his life.

He shook his head and opened to the next blank page and began to write.

"May 22nd," he spoke aloud, "A well deserved win for a perfect creation. Nothing could be better. I owe you everything, Siwonnie. I'll keep working to make you proud. Remember, I love you."

As he said the last phrase, he felt total happiness as he clearly heard Siwon's voice utter the phrase in perfect time with his...........

in his mind....................................................

 

 

right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then, Kyuhyun decided to relax back into a pair of hands as they massaged his shoulders...................................

 

Perfect hands...

 

 

"Relax, Kyuhyunnie. You've worked so hard. I'm happy to be here with you. I can't imagine being anywhere else. You are everything to me. I don't need anything else. You say you owe me everything, but it's me who owes you everything. You made me. It's nice to see you smile. Your smile is perfect. I hope you keep smiling. I'll do whatever I can to keep you smiling and happy because you deserve it. You absolutely deserve to be happy. I just want to tell you one things though. One thing to always keep in mind....

 

Remember, I love you."


	5. Relationship Status: In Love with an Artist (Epilogue)

Name: Choi Siwon.

Birthday: May 15th.

Hometown: Seoul, South Korea.

Relationship Status: In love with an artist.

 

 

 

I don't quite know how it happened.

I couldn't tell you really when I first felt alive.

I just know I remember hearing a voice.

A beautiful voice.

Most often it sang loudly, screaming various lyrics and phrases,

but other times the voice would sing softly, as if it wasn't meant for anyone else to hear but me.

Those were my favorite times.

When I gained my sight, I was breathless.

He was so handsome, this man who was etching me out of stone.

His features, so close to me, I admired their distinctness and nobility.

He had various holes it seemed on his lower jaw, which I learnt later to be something called "acne scars".

His eyes were dark as coal, but they weren't menacing. They had a luster to them, quite telling of their earnest nature.

The concentration in his furrowed brow.

The mole below his right eye. 

His big, toothy grin.

His chocolate hair that fell ever so slightly into his eyes when he would work.

Every day, for hours on end, I took in the complexity of his face, but this was not to be the highlight of this man.

Not by a longshot.

The true beauty in this man lies in his hands.

These hands which worked so diligently to free me from this cold stone prison.

His long fingers, so cut and bruised from mishaps with his tools.

The strength in each hand, but there remained an elegance with which they worked.

Nothing was a struggle for his hands.

It was all in his mind.

There are not nearly enough words to describe the anguish I felt having no choice but to observe the constant pain and suffering which he went through in creating me.

Not nearly.

His blood, sweat, and tears, all were exposed to me, and I couldn't help him.

I don't really know if I could've moved at that point.

I think I might have been able to, but it wasn't right.

How would it look if a half-made marble figure began walking toward you and gave you a hug, telling you not to cry over him?

It would look fucking insane, and Kyuhyun didn't need that from me.

So I remained silent.

Just watching, my heart breaking more and more with each tear that escaped his eyes.

His pain was my pain, and there was none greater than the night he gave me my freckle.

I will admit, I was afraid.

He raised a chair to kill me, but if it weren't for that blonde man in the leopard print pants, I would be dead and Kyuhyun might've been too.

I'll never be able to thank that odd man enough.

Especially not with that jawline.

It rivals mine for pete's sake.

But for all of the pain and anguish I experienced with Kyuhyun, there was that much more relief and happiness after that night.

He had let in another person into the studio a little later, while he was working on my back.

This man obviously knew him well too, playfully looking around not only at him but at myself as well.

This man, whose name I found out was Choi Minho, is still important to Kyuhyun today.

We attended one of his soccer games last week and he scored a hat trick.

What a rush!

Anyway, as I was saying, I remained silent. 

I didn't move an inch, and Kyuhyun continued to work on me.

The day he said I was finished, I contemplated breaking my rigidity and letting him know I was there, but it was not the right time.

It wasn't just that I was made of stone and would begin walking, it was also that I was hidden beneath the stone.

As Kyuhyun worked, I felt things develop inside of me, apparently these are called organs.

And skin, and hair, and muscles...

To this day, I have no idea what actually took place or how this transformation began, but I was becoming human, inside this stone covering.

If there is a God, I think he created me for Kyuhyun.

He didn't want him to be alone and somehow I would travel into his dreams. 

I would see him sitting in pain and I would tell him that I would always love him, if for nothing else than to provide a continuous inspiration for him to work.

But there came a time when I could no longer enter his dreams.

I was confined to this stone covered body that was forming.

And it was torturous.

I wanted nothing more than to embrace Kyuhyun, show him how much I truly loved him, even though he didn't know I existed as I did.

Of course, he would talk to me, hold conversations in his mind with me, and I think they made him feel better about things.

Actually, I know they made him feel better.

He's told me so himself.

The first time I didn't feel the need to comfort Kyuhyun was at the Gala event during his senior year of college.

I was brought there in a moving van with other various pieces of artwork.

Everything was packed in just right so nothing broke.

But of course things did break and students were furious and............. well that doesn't really matter at the moment.

Eventually, I was placed upon a pedestal with a white board next to me with some information on it.

I didn't know what it said, but I was elated when Kyuhyun finally came to the Gala.

He seemed to be happy to see me again as well, his eyes lighting up more than I'd seen before and a smile working its way across his face.

When it was announced that he had won, everyone was moved by his speech.

If I could have cried, I would have wept uncontrollably because Kyuhuyn had finally come to see what the most important things were in life and how his experiences led up to them and his understanding in this moment.

I will have you know he did not prepare any of that speech beforehand.

He went up and ad-libbed it.

And that was why it was beautiful.

It came from his heart.

I was transported back to the studio that night with Kyuhyun as I was now his sole responsibility and would be for the rest of our lives.

The studio was dimmed, except for the moonlight rushing in from a broken window and a spotlight lamp at the table he was sitting at.

He smiled.

But it wasn't one of his big smiles.

It was the one where he knew everything was going to change for the better.

Like he understood even moreso that he himself would be okay, even if he and his friends didn't see each other all the time and some had more or less successes than him.

But it was that smile that led to the tears that started to fall on the page.

I was personally confused at how one could smile and cry at the same time, but I figured I would learn in due time.

As soon as I broke out of this damn stone shell...

He began writing in his journal I'd seen him constantly writing in since my creation.

I couldn't bear it any longer though.

For him to be sad, for him to cry, for him to feel pain, and to go through it alone.

He had his friends, yes, but right now, in this moment, he was alone...

or so he thought.

It wasn't the most graceful emersion, I will say that right now.

But the stone fell from me with ease, disintegrating easily into dust at the foot of the pedestal on which I was standing.

Though just as easily as the stone fell, so to did I.

I'd never used my legs before! Give me a break!

It took a couple seconds for me to get my footing and understand how to walk, but eventually I made it over to Kyuhyun without a sound.

Not that this was particularly how I wanted to approach him.

I had always it pictured more romantically.

Like I would run up to him in a moment of absolute elation, and we would embrace, and the angels would sing, and the heavens would open up with sunshine upon us.............

But here I was, sneaking over to him, nude, in a cold, damp, dark art studio, with only the sound of crickets chirping outside and Kyuhyun sniffling every now and then because of his uncontrollable emotions.

This is what I later learned happens to him when he is "drunk", so to speak.

As I got closer, I heard him whispering and realized he was reading a journal entry aloud as he was writing it.

My drew closer to his shoulder, barely resting my chin on his suit jacket, and reading silently along with him, until we reached the last line...

that line that meant so much to him.

I let the words flow from my mouth.

My first words.

"Remember, I love you..."

 

 

I heard him let out a long sigh and relax his shoulders a bit. 

It was nice to finally see him at peace.

I decided I should try to help.

When that Minho guy was visiting Kyuhyun a couple weeks back, he put his hands on Kyuhyun's shoulders and began to rub them a bit, and Kyuhyun seemed to relax.

I thought this would be the best thing I could do to help.

And then it hit me.

This would be the first time I'd touched him.

Let alone any human being.

I looked down at my hands, slowly raising them up to meet his shoulders.

He had given me such beautiful hands, but none could compare to his, which now cupped his face, shielding it from the spotlight.

I placed my hands lightly on his shoulders and began to repeat the motions I had watched a few weeks back.

Immediately, Kyuhyun let out another sigh and pushed into my hands.

I figured this meant I was doing a good job, and so to help him relax more, I tried talking to him, like the blonde man had done.

"Relax, Kyuhyunnie. You've worked so hard. I'm happy to be here with you. I can't imagine being anywhere else. You are everything to me. I don't need anything else. You say you owe me everything, but it's me who owes you everything. You made me. It's nice to see you smile. Your smile is perfect. I hope you keep smiling. I'll do whatever I can to keep you smiling and happy because you deserve it. You absolutely deserve to be happy. I just want to tell you one thing though. One thing to always keep in mind....

 

Remember, I love you."

 

Kyuhyun exhaled deeply, but before I could lean down to continue the conversation, Kyuhyun jumped up out of his seat and stood facing the window in front of him.

His back was stiff as a board.

So much for my hard work helping him relax.

He slowly turned around, peeking meekly over his shoulder.

He caught sight of me and I smiled at him, raising a hand to wave, but only my thumb and first two fingers straightened out to wave.

I'd have to work on that later.

What mattered now was the shrill scream Kyuhyun emitted before jumping across the table and ducking beneath it, only his eyes and chocolate brown hair flittering over the edge to look at me.

The silence was deafening.

"Hello, Kyuhyunnie."

Another squeak.

This time he sank down to his bottom, sitting on the floor, crosslegged and facing the window.

I heard him muttering,

"He's not real. You're drunk. This is bullshit. What? How? WAE?! Choi Siwon is your statue. He is NOT in human form right behind you. This is a dream. You're hallucinating. How can he be real?!?"

I laughed slightly to myself.

Not that I had the answers to those questions, but I wanted to talk to him nonetheless.

"Kyuhyunnie. Look at me. I'm not going to hurt you. Can you talk to me," I pleaded softly with him, remaining standing at my distance from where he hid behind the table.

Slowly, he emerged from his hiding place and stood facing me.

Sheer terror in his eyes.

This is definitely not how I expected things to go.

"Kyuhyunnie, I-"

I was cut off by a towel being thrown at me.

"You're the one who made me. I don't see-"

"I know I know. Can you just do this for my sanity's sake right now?"

"Of course."

I wrapped the towel around my lower half and moved slightly forward.

Kyuhyun didn't move an inch.

He looked at me, obviously trying to figure out what was happening.

"So... You're alive?"

"Looks like it."

"But how?"

"I don't have any clue, Kyuhyunnie."

"I carved you... out of that stone."

"Yes."

"And you weren't made of skin or anything when I carved you."

"No. I wasn't."

"So how're you made of skin now?"

"I haven't the slightest idea, Kyuhyunnie."

"Do you have organs and all that shit? Like, are you functional? Like a human? Or are you just skin and.........well, stone?"

"I'm almost positive I have organs. If you look closely, I have a small cut on my foot from a piece of stone I stepped on earlier. That must've caused the red liquid to escape my body. Does this mean I'm going to die?"

"You know what death is?"

"Vaguely?"

"How?"

"I don't know that either."

"You don't know jack shit do you?"

"No? What is this 'jack shit', Kyuhyunnie?"

"What? Nevermind. Basically, no, you're not going to die. It'll take a lot more for you to die than that."

"That's good."

 

The silence crept back in.

Neither of us knew what to say next, or at least I didn't. All I wanted to do was hug him... I wanted to let him know I would be here for him forever, but he obviously hadn't warmed up to that idea yet.

"So wait. How long have you been able to like hear and see and shit?"

"For a little while."

"But you couldn't move?"

"No."

"Why?"

"The stone was too much. I wanted to move and let you know I was here, but I couldn't. Or at least I thought I couldn't."

"And what's so special about now that allows you to move?"

"I have no clue, Kyuhyunnie."

"Great."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Is it yours then?"

"WHAT?! HOW IS THIS MY FAULT YOU'RE ALIVE?!? YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT I DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER THAT. WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"But don't you want me alive, Kyuhyunnie?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but the question obviously struck a nerve.

After countless hours of him talking to me, telling me how he wishes I was real, how much he loves me, it was impossible for him to deny.

I didn't want to pull that card, but it was the only way to shut him up.

He looked to the right and shook his head.

He barely looked up at me.

"Of course I want you to be alive, Siwon. You're the only thing that makes me happy. You know this. Why would you ask something like that?"

"Did you not hear what you just said to me 30 seconds ago? How could I not ask that?"

Kyuhyun rested against his hands which white knuckled the edge of the table.

He hung his head in shame more than anything.

What he had wanted to come true had finally happened, and he was ruining it.

He said something he hadn't said in a long time.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't even meet my eyes.

I decided that I would stay here for now, but that later I would try to get closer again.

This was more difficult than I had anticipated.

"It's fine, Kyuhyunnie. Don't worry about it. I know you didn't mean it."

"No. It's not okay. I can't keep treating people like this. But.........how?"

"I. Don't. Know."

He took a minute before saying anything else.

I was worried.

"Can you stay here for tonight? There's some blankets and things I brought for when I would crash here," he said with an exasperated look on his face, wiping the sleep from his eyes, or at least trying to.

"Of course. I'll do whatever you want. It's not like I really have anywhere else to go."

"Thanks. I'll be back in the morning. I just need to sort out my head and get my shit together."

"That's fine."

"Alright," he said heading for the doorway, "goodnight Siwon."

"Goodnight Kyuhyunnie. Sleep well."

He left with a grumble.

I didn't sleep well at all that night, though honestly, it was the first experience with real sleep I had had.

Around 11am the next morning, I heard the door unlock and in walked Kyuhyun.

He looked exhausted.

He had a bag of clothing with him and presumably some food.

"Good morning, Kyuhyunnie."

Another grumble.

"Good morning. Did you sleep okay?"

"Well enough. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Fine. Can you put these on? I brought food. Do you eat," he asked, opening the bag of food in front of him after tossing me the bag of clothing.

I opened the bag and saw a bright blue polo and some jeans.

This would do for now.

"Yes. I think so."

I changed into the clothing, Kyuhyun watching the entire time.

No matter how he tried to hide it, I knew he didn't hate me.

"Here. Eat this."

He handed me a bowl of rice with pork, vegetables, and kimchi on the side.

"Thank you," I said accepting the bowl.

We ate mostly in silence before I asked Kyuhyun a question.

"Kyuhyun, can we go for a walk?"

"What?"

"Can we go for a walk? Like outside?"

"Why would we do that?"

"Because I want to see what everything is like. Plus I need practice walking and you need some fresh air."

He smiled. 

That beautiful smile I'd missed last night when we talked.

It had returned.

"Okay. Let's go."

We made a pit stop by Kyuhyun's apartment before heading out for the afternoon.

This was when I first met Changmin.

I entered the apartment and was met with a man putting on sunglasses and a hat, preparing to leave.

"Oh, Kyuhyunnie. Who's your friend," he asked, looking over me, "and why is he wearing your old clothes? I thought I told you to throw those away years ago?"

"Uhm. This is Choi Siwon," Kyuhyun replied.

"Oh, well.... nice to meet you. I'm Shim Changmin. How come I've never seen you here before? I know all of Kyuhyunnie's friends..."

"I- uhm-"

"He just got into town. I know him from an art forum online. He needs a place to stay, so I told him he could stay here and help me with rent since you're leaving soon," Kyuhyun interjected.

He saved me from embarrassment, that's for sure.

"Awesome. He looks so much like your sculpture... Did you model it after him?"

"Obviously."

"Sorry. I didn't know someone like that was real. I can't read your mind."

"You don't try hard enough."

"Fuck off."

"Anyway, where are you off to?"

"I have to go grab some of my portfolio material from the photography department dark room. I had some girls develop some photos for me in exchange for being their models."

His confidence was blinding, but something was off about it.

"Great. Just make sure they aren't nudes this time? You remember how you got in trouble for that last time."

"Whoops~"

"Just go."

"Alright. I'll see you both later then. Nice to meet you Siwon-sshi," he said with a slight bow.

"Nice to meet you too. Have a nice day," I replied, bowing as he did.

He left and Kyuhyun hurriedly dropped everything off.

We got to a park nearby and it was amazing. Everything was so lush and green and alive. The sun was warm and the air was clean. Nothing like that stuffy basement I had been in for 2 months. This was what I wanted.

We walked around the pathways and talked about various things, most of which was me asking Kyuhyun questions about things I saw around me. He seemed happy to answer though. I took this as a good sign.

We made our way to a bench, hidden behind some trees. We sat down and I took his hand. It made him relax a little.

"So, what.......what do we do now," he finally asked, looking up at me as he was slightly hunched over.

"Well, I'm here because you made me..."

"I know, but...do you want to be here?..............With me?"

"It's all I want, Kyuhyunnie."

"Is it? You don't want to leave?"

"Never."

"Really?"

"Well, I'd like to go see other places, but I want to see them with you."

"You're serious?"

"Just do one thing for me, Kyuhyunnie."

"What's that?"

"Remember, I love you..."

\------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been 2 years since that day.

2 years since my life began its blissful course.

Of course, no one really knew where I had come from.

Kyuhyun and I kept that a secret.

I'm currently sitting in our apartment, that same apartment in which I had met his best friend and coincidentally moved into that night.

Kyuhyun now works at the university, teaching classes and sculpting in his spare time.

I, well, after learning to write, I've decided to write a novel.

No one knows where my inspiration comes from, but that's mine and Kyuhyun's little secret.

If there's anything I want everyone who reads my novel to know though, it's that....well....

you are loved. 

Never, ever forget that you are loved and that you are important to someone.

That's the most important lesson in life.

You. Are. Loved.


End file.
